This Is It
by LolaCherryColaGirl
Summary: After 12 years in Azkaban Sirius just wants to see and maybe touch the woman he’s loved for all those years. “This is it. This is when we move on.” There be smut.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter, just bits and pieces of the plot.

**A/N: **So this is written in discovery of romantic sex and … because Yazzi and Shnee told me to. Please enjoy and (I swear I am begging you on my knees) _**please**_ review!

**Dedication: **I dedicate this smutty little ficlet to my lovelings and fellow Maraudettes Yazzi and Shnee! Love you guys!

**Warning: **There be sex and bad words in this story.

**Summary: **After 12 years in Azkaban Sirius just wants to see and maybe touch the woman he's loved for all those years. "This is it. This is when we move on."

**This Is It**

"Remus Lupin how dare you sit there and tell me such a lie!" Claire Benson yelled as she angrily pushed her wooden chair away from her small dinning room table and stood up "You fucking know how I" she sighed and ran a hand through her blonde hair while angry tears blurred her vision "You know how I feel about this." She sobbed.

Remus Lupin was tired. Nevertheless he tried again "Claire, I am not lying to you. He _is _innocent. Sirius Black never killed anybody." Remus got up too and walked over to Claire, pulling her close "Why would I lie to you?" he whispered and felt Claire shake her head against his shoulder saying "I don't know." between her crying.

Once Claire calmed down she stepped out of Remus' embrace, rubbing her red, poofy eyes with her hands "So … He wants to see me?" she asked, unable to grasp the fact that her ex-boyfriend who she'd thought to be a criminal for years, but couldn't stop loving wanted to see her.

"Yeah, he asked me to explain everything to you and convince you to see him just one last time." Remus confirmed as he smiled softly, feeling so much older than the woman in front of him, despite the fact that they were the same age.

"Still making you do all his dirty work, huh?" she tried to laugh, but it came out as another sob. Remus chuckled as he watched her clap her hands together a couple of times, bouncing back and forth on her feet before she nodded and said "Okay." determined.

"Okay?" Remus questioned.

"Yeah, okay, I'll see him." Claire said, already doubting if she was making a wise choice. The right choice …

"Good … good, I'll tell him that tonight and come pick you up tomorrow after work okay?" Remus gave Claire's hands a comforting squeeze before he Flooed out of her apartment, leaving her to her maze of confusing thoughts and feelings.

---

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Claire yelled the day after as she ran towards her front door after hearing three light knocks on the door.

"Oomph." She gasped when she tripped over the towel she'd dropped randomly on the floor after her hurried shower. Once she finally reached the door and tore it open she found Remus, laughing at her messy appearance.

He watched her with a tall, black boot on her right leg and a long, white sock on her left. She was wearing a purple slip and a red sweater, with only her right arm through the sleeve. Her hair was wrapped up in a towel, with a few, flighty strands of blonde hair sticking out here and there.

"Don't laugh." She growled and began to run back to her bedroom, but once again tripped over her towel.

"Come on." Remus said as he reached his hand forward to help Claire back on her feet. He watched her angrily rid herself of the red sweater by waving her right arm in a frantic pace until it flew across the living room.

"I don't know what to wear." She explained as she stumbled back to her bedroom and open, messy closet to look through her options once again.

"You look fine." Remus said; he really didn't want to get sucked into a clothing-crisis.

"I'm wearing four different colours, none of this match." She arched an eyebrow at him "You have to help me Remus!"

"I'm sure you can manage to get dressed and look lovely without my help." Remus coughed and closed his eyes as Claire pulled of her sock and boot.

"Remus you can look, it's just my legs." Claire laughed and rolled her eyes before putting on a tight, white sweater and a pair of snuck jeans.

"So what do you think?" She asked Remus, panting from her quick dressing. He cracked one eye open first to make sure she was dressed; her hair was still wrapped in a fluffy, yellow towel, and her purple slip was clearly visible as it was outside her jeans.

"You might want to…" Remus pointed towards the slip, unable to ask his best friends ex-girlfriend to step out of her underwear.

"Oh right, well I'll only be a second." Claire yelled as she rushed into her bathroom to finish up. Knowing Claire pretty well Remus went into her living room and sat down on her couch with a book.

---

23. That was the number that was written in large, golden numbers on the dark, wooden door leading into Sirius' temporary room on a small inn in Northern England. Remus had Appararated Claire there.

She had just reached for the equally golden handle and her fingers idly brushed it before she pulled her hand back and turned to Remus who was standing right behind her "I can't go in." she stated.

"Yes you can." Remus assured her as he put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around so she was facing the door again "Everything will be fine."

"You're coming in with me right?" Claire peaked at him over her shoulder, her brown eyes begging him. Unfortunately for Claire Remus shook his head "No Claire, this is between you and him."

She took a deep breath and had just reached for the handle again when she abruptly stopped once more.

"What now?" Remus asked.

"Are you sure he didn't kill anybody?" she asked and once Remus nodded and confirmed for her yet again that Sirius Black was an innocent man, at least in that matter, did Claire finally push down the handle and step inside the room.

The flower patterned curtains had been drawn shut, and only a small lamp softly lit up the quaint room enough for Claire to make out a bed, a desk and an armchair while her eyes adjusted to the sudden darkness. She could also make out a man sitting in the armchair near the desk. Her heart started pounding hard in her chest.

"Claire?" his familiar voice whispered and she nearly ran to him in the joy if hearing her name softly whispered from his lips once more.

"Yes." She nodded and dared to take a step closer towards the desk, while squinting her eyes to try and see his face from across the room. She didn't have to much longer as he lit the lamp on the desk and she could suddenly see all of him.

How different he was! The face and body that had once reminded her of nothing less than that of a Greek God, was now damaged. The leatherjacket that was once tight around his firm chest and muscular arms, hanged loose and the hair she'd loved to run her fingers through at any given chance was no longer silky. Still despite of all that his grey eyes still shined at her, and he was truly beautiful.

"Oh Sirius." She gasped.

"I know, I am a bit different than the last time you saw me I think." He'd wanted to chuckle, but he hadn't managed to. It was like she hadn't changed. True she'd aged, but it barely showed and her body was as slender and her brown eyes as deep as he vaguely remembered them to be from hot nights so long ago.

"Just a bit." Claire said in a horrible attempt to lighten the mood. In her head she'd imagined them meeting again so many times, but she'd never thought of thinking what 12 years physical and psychological abuse would do to a man.

She sat down on the bed across from where he was sitting and stared at his grey, fathomless eyes "I've missed you." She confessed.

Sirius had to turn his head away to hide the tears that were running down his sullen cheeks. He wanted to say it back, but those words would never come anywhere near explaining how much he'd longed for her.

Claire saw the tears anyway though "I don't think I ever stopped loving you." she shook her head "Actually I know I never stopped loving you."

His shoulders were shaking as he silently cried for all the time they'd lost "Surely after twelve years there must be someone else." he finally said and he felt his stomach flutter in a way it hadn't done for so long when she shook her head in denial "Every time something became to serious I got scared, and … just broke it off." she explained.

He caught her eyes with his own and stared into the depths of them as he said "I wish I could kiss you."

For what seemed like an eternity they both sat there, waiting, hoping, until finally Claire said "You can." and leaned forward expecting to meet Sirius' lips any second now.

She did as he gently pressed tiny little kisses along her upper lip, and then her lower, so she had to part them in a soft moan where as Sirius took his chance and kissed her with every feeling he'd been blocking in their time apart.

"Oh how good it felt to touch someone again" he thought as he softly bit Claire's lip, stroked her tongue with his own and let his warm breath was over her skin.

Claire wasn't sure if it was just because it'd been so long, but their kiss felt different. He'd never been violent with her, just passionate, but now his teeth were biting down on her lips, his fingers were gripping hard around her hair, his mouth was nibbling at the patch of skin behind her ear. And Claire enjoyed every second of it.

She was urging him to continue with her hands or softly whispered words, until she was suddenly beneath him on the bed and she pushed him away. "I'm sorry." She panted, breathless from his affections.

"Don't worry; I should never even have done this." Sirius got up from the bed and started to pace the room, angrily talking to himself "I mean what was I thinking, trying to have sex with you, this is all way too fast. It's not even supposed to happen."

Claire just sat silently on the bed as she watched him guilt himself over what had been just as much her own fault for lack of thinking clear "Sirius, please stop." she begged.

"No Claire, I'm sorry. I have no right to mess up your life. To mess up another life." He added, partially to himself.

Claire pulled off her boots, socks and jeans and threw it all next to the bed, causing Sirius to frown confused at her "Can we please just … lie here. And talk?" she asked.

"Err…" like the revelation of her creamy legs hadn't been enough now she was pulling off her sweater and underwear as well, leaving her naked as could be on the bed. Sirius didn't hesitate to undress one bit, and he soon joined her, lying flat on his back on the bed.

"Can we lie like this?" Claire questioned after she'd put her head on Sirius' chest, making sure she could hear his surprisingly steady heartbeat. Her foot was idly playing with his.

"Mhmm." Sirius mumbled in response and he started toying with her hair. He could never have imagined how good it felt to be naked with someone again. To be naked with her again.

"What are you going to do now?" Claire asked, fighting to not just close her eyes and fall asleep like this. Preferably forever.

"I'll have to leave tomorrow morning. Hide until … something happens." Sirius quickly answered; eager to close the subject. He did not want to think about that right now. In fact he didn't want to think at all right now, he just wanted to breathe and feel her every time his chest rose and fall.

"So I can't see you again?" she couldn't just let this subject go right away. She needed to know if there was anyway she could be with him.

"No." Sirius shook his head and they both fell into silence as Claire started drawing shapeless figures on his naked chest, doing her best to hold her tears back. She didn't want to cry over him anymore, she just wanted to love him.

With that in mind Claire started to kiss shapeless figures on Sirius' chest, instead of drawing them with her fingertips. Sometimes she would linger in one place longer than another, to suck on the piece of skin and then soothe the reddened skin with brief, soft kisses.

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked, his voice sounding strangled as he tried not to groan of pleasure and hoped she didn't notice the way his body was responding to her. She did of course and she dropped her head lower, kissing his arousal, trying to keep out all of the voices that told her not to do this. To be smart about Sirius for once in her life "I'm loving you." she said "Don't think, just feel."

And when she wrapped her warm mouth around him, he had no choice but to obey her command. His fingers were gripping tight around the white sheets of the bed as she sent waves of pleasure through his body, until suddenly she stopped and started kissing her way up his body again to finally meet his mouth in a hungry kiss.

Sirius wrapped his long legs around her waist and turned them around so he was now hovering above her, his teeth showed as the thought of it made him smile. He was dragging his fingers all over her body, every little curve he could find was caressed and her nipples slowly hardened eagerly awaiting his touch.

Finally he tweaked both of them with his long, delicate fingers causing Claire to gasp out loud and sit up as her hands frantically searched for his body. Sirius sat up along with her and enjoyed the feeling of her fingers trailing complicated paths on his back as he eased her onto his arousal and felt her moan against his shoulders.

When he'd completely entered her she had to bite his shoulders to keep from screaming out loud, but soon when he was moving in and out of her at a steady pace, she could do nothing but wrap her arms around him and hold him close, screamingly repeating his name again and again.

"Faster." She pleaded unashamed, but Sirius wasn't in a rush. He wanted to enjoy every second of their intimacy and when his hand was roughly playing with her left breast Claire didn't need him to go any faster as he soon made her clench around him and she shook with inconceivable pleasure.

Sirius continued to move within her and she whispered amorous words against his neck and perverted statements in his ear, making him erupt within her and scream out her name.

Once they'd both caught their breaths, Claire forcefully pushed Sirius onto his back and lay down so she could hear his heartbeat once more. It was a lot faster now and she smile contented. He'd just started toying with her hair again when she fell asleep and he drifted off soon after.

---

"It's time to get up." a masculine voice whispered in Claire's ear, coaxing her from her sleep. Through the window she could see it was still dark outside and she decided that she'd much rather stayed pressed against his lean, naked body than get up or go outside.

Sirius chuckled as she buried her head in his armpit once more, obviously trying to fall asleep again "Claire." he called and her eyes snapped open.

"Sirius, why up so early?" she mumbled, tightening her grip around his body and enjoying his sweaty smell of their earlier intimacy.

"It's time to say goodbye." Sirius sadly whispered and Claire remembered everything and hastily sat up "No, no. It can't be time already! I've only just had you, I can't loose you again." she said and Sirius' heart hurt with the thought about what his wish to see her just one last time was doing to her.

Claire spent the time Sirius was in the shower softly crying into a pillow so he wouldn't notice. With the way his grey eyes seemed to be hurting when he looked at her after his shower, she knew he noticed anyway.

Claire had to leave first since Remus was waiting outside to Appararate her home, and they were soon standing in front of the door, completely silent, wondering how to say goodbye.

"So this is it? This is when we say goodbye." Claire softly inquired; she couldn't believe it.

Sirius cupped her face with his hands and leaned in, gently kissing her until they were both out of breath "This is it." he said "This is when we move on." and so with one last glance Claire left Sirius, tears running down her cheeks, her heart breaking into a million pieces, and her lips burning after his touch. She was ready to move on.

**A/N: **The end! I do hope you've all enjoyed it and (I'm down on my knees again people) that you'll all please review!

**X X X LolaCherryColaGirl**


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